In the mind of a Young expecting mother…

Anshla Benny

I … am going to be a MOTHER?
They keep saying it is good news,
But I feel uneasy, unsure;
Don’t think I am ready, I don’t see the lure.
Motherhood they say is a joy;
But all I feel is a lonesome sinking feeling,
Will I be able to do this?
Will I do my new ‘Role’ justice?

Oh! Look at those happy smiling faces,
My mother-in-law seems proud,
My husband looks different,
Is this how he looks when he doesn’t frown?
They keep saying it is good news,
But I feel uneasy, unsure;
I swallow my fears and wear a frozen smile,
Motherhood they say is a joy
Is this what joy feels like? I haven’t felt it in a while!

I walk out to the pastures,
And see the cattle grazing forth,
“Maybe the cow will understand me”,
She knows how it is to nurture; she knows how it is to birth.
I gaily walked towards her and gently touched her head,
She merely gazed back at me,
Staring right into my eyes,
And then a silent moment or two passed by……
This is futile, I sighed!

I took my handy sickle and went to work my field,
Saw shiny kernels on the wispy stalk,
And marveled at the yield,
“Maybe the soil will understand me”,
For in her fertile womb, a seed ripens into fruit,
I softly pinched the earth and gently picked some soil,
It was nestled softly in my palm,
But through my fingers, she started to slip off,
And then a silent moment or two passed by…..
This is futile, I sighed!

I entered my kitchen balancing pots of water,
Setting them aside, I sat beside the stove,
Stated a slow fire and put the pot to boil,
The fire simmered, the water bubbled,
“Maybe the pot will understand me”,
She provides warmth that turns grain to gruel,
I looked into the pot for an answer,
I thought I’ll give it a try,
And a silent moment or two passed,
This is futile, I sighed!

I felt lonelier than ever, no one understands my plight;
I was scared, confused, and anxious;
about this new role in life.
Just then the mobile phone rang,
And I was greeted by a sweet voice,
She said she was my mobile friend,
I have a friend?? Oh! That’s a Surprise

She called me throughout this journey,
At every single step,
She asked how I was doing;
And If I was resting well,
She advised me on my diet,
And how to take care of my health.
I’ve been so tired lately, maybe she could tell!

Giving birth to a new life was a challenge,
And I enjoyed this bouncy ride,
It helped me know my body;
It helped me gain my pride!
In my fears and my distresses she was there by my side,
She is my Phone Sakhi, my mobile mitra,
My friend and my Guide!

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